Fear...

Fear is an emotion caused by a perceived threat (real or imaginary).

Fear is a kind of survival mechanism, an automatic response that prepares mind and body for the unknown; a really bad unknown. 

Fear, reigned, may lead to acts beyond our idea of human capabilities or, unreigned, to crushing anxiety crippling life at the innermost sanctuary of the mind. 

I had never felt fear living in Mexico. Now I do and I'm not even in my homeland. No more than five years ago, the sight of a random guy walking aimlessly the parking lot during the wee hours just made me think of a dude smoking a cigarette or waiting for his friends to keep the party on; now, it kept me looking through the window for the half hour the dude was there, searching for security's phone in the emergency sheet at the door and wondering where the fuck was the security guard whose snoring bothered me all the nights before that night. 

I never thought I would get to that. I never thought I would stop taking the overnight bus home to visit mom or giving up driving uncountable hours by day or night during vacations. I gave those up no more than five years ago. 

I know what it is to live a normal life with normal fears and that's either in the so far untouched center of Mexico (Puebla and Queretaro seem to be the less conflictive) or far from this beautiful country. Sad but true.

Fuck fear!